Dear Miss Eyre… a fun letter writing game

To play the game…  click here

Me response to yer letter please read the following:

‘ello Miss Eyre

I must start by saying that I am not much of a letter writing person but shall endeavor to do my very best to respond to yer inquiry for advice.

From what ye ‘ave written I find it all quite disconcerting that ye be abandoned n’ the countryside with a dosher who sounds like a right broodie chap.

Since ye be seeking advice Miss. I will say I am pretty good at reading between the lines and I fancy meself a bit o’ a match maker as well. The story ‘ere is quite simple really. Ye need te get out and be social with folk. Ye need to meet other people and enjoy yer young life. Nuthin’ more important then getting’ out with mates and tossin’ a few Spindlies down yer neck. Many of the young ladies ‘ere n’ the East end are very social and ‘ave many friends. Most important te ‘ave good friends Miss.

If what ye write is true, this dosher Mr. Rochester appears te already ‘ave a little strumpet in the wings. Ye don’t wanna compete with those arranged situations Miss. If he cared about ye he would surely pay ye mind Miss more then just a roof o’er yer head n’ a child to tend.

This may be bold as brass tacks but, ‘ I ‘appen to know a good barber who keeps shop n’ Fleet Street that could do with meetin’ a young lady such as yerself. As of late h’es been keepin’ company with a washed up widow by the name o’ Missus Lovett.

Forgive me Miss, as I am no friend of the afore mentioned. As of late she opened ‘er very own pie shop in rivalry o’ mine and I suspect that if a young lady such as yerself were to come into the picture well perhaps the barber’s head would be turned in your favour. But I digress.

Truthfully Miss, I think ye be better catching the next omnibus out o’ there and consider yerself lucky.

I know ‘ow this ‘ighlife can effect the brain, straight te yer head like a cheap gin toss.

From yer description I liken this Mr. Rochester to a cut o’ meat. Flank steak Miss. All red n’ juicy on the outside. But a might tough n’ not very pleasant if it ain’t handled right and from the sounds of it Miss yer in no position to do so.

Ye also speak of Love Miss, LOVE. Love is not for everyone. I ‘ave experienced LOVE. It is a bitter pill. Taken with sugar it is still something to be spat out or ye will die from it’s ill effects. I see it in the public houses every evening. Love is found on the street corners as well. I do not want to discourage ye young heart Miss only to say be cautious.

I feel that in this brief letter I am writing I ‘ave now come to understand yer situation.

My advice to ye at this time is to leave Thornfield and that dosher immediate like. If ye find yerself n’ London Miss I would be happy to oblige ye a bed n’ exchange fer a few hours of labour n’ me shop or I could introduce ye to that barber I spoke of, Mr. Sweeney Todd. He is a respectable chap or if that does not work out Miss ye could get a few cats as companions. I find them to be most useful and abundant in companionship when necessary Miss.

It has been a pleasure te make yer acquaintance. I look forward to yer correspondence Miss.

Signed respectfully
Missus Eugenia Mooney
13A The Strand


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